Auntie Bladderpod

Dear Auntie B,

Try as we might, we just cannot get our tar to the right consistency for dropping on orcs. Do you have any tips?

Yours gratefully
Captain F

Auntie Bladderpod

Dear aunty wotsit

I have three fugly daughters wot no man wuld want for a wife and no sons to help me on the farm. I do not no wot I shud do. I cant afford to get any man to marry my girls and i cant afford to get help in on the farm and i cant afford to feed us all if this keeps up. Please can you help.

Morris.