Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Film Review: Age of the Dragons (2011)

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you do not watch this film alone. Is it scary? No, it's really not. So why should you only risk it in company? Because otherwise you have no one to mock it with and that is not just tragic but renders the film unwatchable.

Danny Glover stars as Ahab in this fantasy take on Moby Dick and he certainly delivers on the crazy shouty old man stakes. What there isn't is any comprehension about what's going on, any reason for his mood swings or shoutiness or any acting. I am wiping this from my memory and pretending he just stopped existing after the Lethal Weapon films.

"I'm in a film with Vinny Jones? You're pulling my plonker."


The lead character of Ishmael played by Corey Sevier delivered the entire film as bored exposition in the form of voice over, barely interacting with the cast at all. Asking himself whether this life of violence was really for him before he even considered actually killing anything was bizarre and felt as though it was happening at the wrong point in the film.

Vinny Jones in a side role actually brought more charisma to the screen in his five minutes than everyone else put together.

"Well, I'm folding my arms in gangsta stylee even if you won't."


Visually the effects etc weren't bad, yet it still managed to be dull. Oh god how dull. Script, plot, character, acting, potential for visual glory were all shoved aside for the dullest reading of Moby Dick ever, in bored tones while we watched people not really doing much in bad peasant outfits for no apparent reason. Skip it. Unless you are studying film making and want to see a glorious example of how to ruin a fantasy film.

On the upside, the dragons looked okay and there were some trees at one point which was nice.

Adele Wearing 

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