I cannot recommend strongly enough that you do not watch
this film alone. Is it scary? No, it's really not. So why should you only risk
it in company? Because otherwise you have no one to mock it with and that is
not just tragic but renders the film unwatchable.
Danny Glover stars as Ahab in this fantasy take on Moby Dick
and he certainly delivers on the crazy shouty old man stakes. What there isn't is any comprehension about what's going on, any reason for his mood swings or
shoutiness or any acting. I am wiping this from my memory and pretending he
just stopped existing after the Lethal Weapon films.
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| "I'm in a film with Vinny Jones? You're pulling my plonker." |
BORED EXPOSITION
The lead character of Ishmael played by Corey Sevier
delivered the entire film as bored exposition in the form of voice over, barely
interacting with the cast at all. Asking himself whether this life of violence
was really for him before he even considered actually killing anything was
bizarre and felt as though it was happening at the wrong point in the film.
Vinny Jones in a side role actually brought more charisma to
the screen in his five minutes than everyone else put together.
 |
| "Well, I'm folding my arms in gangsta stylee even if you won't." |
BAD PEASANT OUTFITS
Visually the effects etc weren't bad, yet it still managed
to be dull. Oh god how dull. Script, plot, character, acting, potential for
visual glory were all shoved aside for the dullest reading of Moby Dick ever,
in bored tones while we watched people not really doing much in bad peasant
outfits for no apparent reason. Skip it. Unless you are studying film making and want to see
a glorious example of how to ruin a fantasy film.
On the upside, the dragons looked okay and there were some
trees at one point which was nice.
Adele Wearing
Gotta love those trees.
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