Saturday, 26 January 2013

Football Report: Dunnell Utd vs Torcastle City

Today we welcomed Torcastle City to Dunnell's home ground The Governor's Lot. The stadium is in the impressive grounds of the personal estate of Governor  Threpley. After their performance against the Skinners a few weeks ago, Dunnell wanted a good solid win on their home ground.

Torcastle as you know sportsfans represent the main military port of Abevorn and their football team is as tight as the Admiralty's crews.


It's probably a good thing the turn out t the Governor's Lot was in at under three thousand because Dunnell took a right battering. It was embarrassing. Really, I cringed for them when Torcastle's Kesmon 'Do it' Dwerette nailed the first goal just two minutes in. I squirmed for Dunnell when Jarin 'The Score' Swain added a second goal eight minutes later. On forty-one minutes, when Ossar Puddler laid an injury on Jun Squirldike (changing room rumours about Jun's preference for Dwarf girls is unconfirmed but has definitely made him more agressive), I died a little for Dunnell. They were utterly outclassed as the Torcastle team swabbed the decks with them. Simon Queensgrove was literally decked by The Score, who was dragged unconscious from the pitch to be replaced by Rhydian Plumer. Swain then further justified his nickname by grabbing another goal and delivering a final score of 3-0 to Torcastle.

Jarin Swain is making a real name for himself now as fourth in the running for the Sovereign League top goal scorer and number eight for brutality. It's promising to be an exciting season for the young man from Torcastle.

Rush Grathrock

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